Musings on self-absorption...

I was recently reading the book "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller. In it he remarks that all of the problems in the world could be solved if we were all less self-absorbed. This seems like quite a claim, but then when I think about my own life, I think that a lot of my so-called struggles are due to self-absorption, or are at least made worse by it! I have struggled to live in a house full of 19-21 year olds - always comparing myself to them and feeling like an old, fat lump on a log. But then I realize its all just me being self-absorbed and that comparing myself to others is just a scheme of the devil! Its such an easy trap for me to fall into though! Then this Monday evening we were doing our usual program at the SOS Childrens Village, but the Khanya team couldn't be with us, and it seems we just had no confidence in our own abilities...to control the kids, to plan the lesson...we seemed defeated before we even got there and of course it went badly!! I hope we learned from it, but I'm not sure....I know we were comparing ourselves to the Khanya team and feeling inadequate but again I think this is the devil whispering lies in our ears! Then, Rolf, our Centre Director, did a talk with us and talked about how we as Christians so many times just live in survival mode, just trying to get through life instead of living the abundant, victorious lives Jesus bought for us on the cross! The whole time he was talking I kept thinking "That's me!! That's me!!" I don't know how many times I prayed to God to just get me through this day, or that program...just living in survival mode! Why? And why do I feel inadequate all the time when the Bible promises that God will equip us for whatever we face? Again, I think self-absorption rears its ugly head...its always all about me and how I'm feeling! Hopefully now that I've recognized this pattern I can counteract it by adjusting my attitude and remembering God's promises.....something tells me this will be a lifelong battle!!